here it is my daily life struggle...and if you ever have enough time, go to the archive section and catch up...

oh how the weather sucks...yes i wake up and its colder than usual...theres a slight pitter-patter on the roof so i know its rainining...i take a look outside my window and the sky is all gray...jeez and i have to run errands in this weather...this kinda weather makes me wanna stay inside drink hot cocoa wrap a warm blanket around me and listen to some music...yeah the weather controls the mood...i see that from a lot of people i know...some get all relaxed, others depressed, and rarely there are some people that enjoy it...i dont know about you but clear blue skies, a nice cool breeze, and that warm sunshine upon me just energizes me...but i guess theres others on the opposite side of the spectrum...

so im running errands this morning and i have to drive around in this weather...man i dont know what it is but people cant drive worth spit when it comes to rain...people get retarded on the road when its raining...lots of people dont drive with their lights on...it seems they want to blend in and they dont want to be seen and there are others that think because its raining it allows them to drive even faster...idiots i tell you...

anyways after all my errands i decided to stop at best buy and check out the scanners...one of the main reasons i wanted to start this website was so i could get the pics i take on the web...the scanner would definitely help in this area...so im checkin their selection and i finally pick one out...its a canon, very slim design space saving cause i dont have that much in my tiny room...so i go home and hook it up...but somethings not right...in the instructions it says as soon as i plug it in, the computer should notice it...but my computer doesnt...im pulling my hair out trying to figure out if its the ports that are messed up or the scanner...so right now i have this kick ass scanner thats just sittin there waiting to be used but my computer doesnt like...oh well i might have to return this bad boy...

ahrite my pops comes home and he asked me if i picked up his meds...i said i couldnt find the place and he gets all pissed...damn that means im not going out tonight...yeah and then later he finds out that i bought a scanner without telling him...this gets him even more pissed...my dad is the type of person who has to be in control...needs to know whats going on...and the only changes that occur are when he makes them...jeez i know you people out there can relate...

well it looks like ill be stuck at home on a friday night...oh the humanity...ill probably catch up on all the x-files episodes that i havent watched this season...yeah im a big x-files fan...but the show is different without david duchoveny...i fear the end of the show is coming this season...damn his wanting to be closer to his wife and wanting to make movies...he hasnt made a decent one yet...he's killing the show...
posted by ryan edu 1/13/2001

hmm my day started at noon as usual...man i feel like i wasted half a day by sleeping...well ryan maybe if you didnt stay up till 3 in the morn you would get up earlier...yeah yeah yeah...but thats when all my creative juices are flowing...its something about being on the brink of going to sleep...does that ever happen to you?...here let me explain...right before i go to sleep, im in bed and i close my eyes...just then all these thoughts are just flushed into my head...it could be anything all random with no coherence whatsoever...then i spend about an hour just going through all of it before my mind decides that ive done enough and lets me go to sleep...yeah its pretty crazaay you can say but it happens to me almost everynight no matter how tired i may be...i guess its due to the fact that we are so busy in our daily lives that sometimes we dont get the chance to reflect on whats going on around us...my mind makes time for me to go through all of it...i think everybody needs their own personal time...use the time not to think of work or school...just concentrate on yourself...maybe reaccess goals, relationships, or general happiness...i mean you should be content with yourself first before anything else...everything else will fall into place afterwards...

anyways i spent most of the afternoon cleaning the house and the backyard...all my mom's plants and orchids were blown down from the gusting winds of last nights storm...and i hear from the weatherman that its not going to get any better...thars a storm brewin i tell yah...so everyone get your raincoats umbrellas and galoshes if you have them...well rain here in san diego means that theres snow in the mountains...nows the time to do any snowboarding or skiing...real snow falling down instead of that man-made stuff...too bad i have no more money ahh well...maybe ill just go to see the snow falling...havent seen that since ive lived in new york...hmm its been awhile...

well after all the cleaning my friend eileen comes over for a jam session with our guitars...im a flat out beginner and shes been playing a few months...i think guitar is the coolest thing...its one of those instruments you could bring around and sing along with...not to down play piano or anything but you cant really bring it with you where ever you go and start playing...this is the first instrument that ive paid for myself and actually wanted to learn...when i was a young lad i was forced into playing piano so i didnt really enjoy playing it as much as others...also when i was in the 3rd grade i played the french horn but it was just too expensive to get one of my own...so this guitar i plan on getting somewhere with it...i bought it before christmas as an early present for myself but havent really got to play it until now halfway thru break...im slowly learning how to tune it, read chord sheets, and play them...im teaching myself through the internet and getting help along the way by anyone who has a guitar...its quite an experience...maybe ill take a class in the future and who knows where it will lead...maybe ill become the next babyface or eric clapton...whatever...yeah well its something to shoot for...
posted by ryan edu 1/11/2001

well my morning started with a large bowl of oatmeal...oatmeal you say? yes i said oatmeal...weird but i kinda missed eating it...when i was younger my mom would make it all the time and i would eat it all up...yeah its pretty bland tasting stuff but if you added enough heaping spoons of sugar...hey its just like eating a bowl of one of those over priced cereals...yeah i went grocery shopping yesterday and i noticed a box of named brand cereal is about 3 or 4 bucks...i remember way back...like it was so long ago...a box of cereal would be only a buck...its a crime i tell you...to charge so much for a box of fruity sweet goodness...where would i be if i didnt have cereal...i really dont know...i pretty much grew up on the stuff...its been engraved into my head that it's "part of a complete breakfast" and all that other jazz...yeah call me a "cereal killer" i dont mind...ive eaten almost every cereal out on the market...the name brands to the imitation and even to the organic stuff...or is it inorganic i dont remember...you can find some at one of those specialty food and produce markets...anyways yeah the imitation stuff isnt too bad...its actually pretty close tasting to the originals...i know youve seen them at your local supermarkets...all in clear plastic bags with funny names right below the real stuff...theyve got fruity o's which are equivalent to froot loops, puffed rice which are smacks, apple o's which are apple jacks the list goes on and on...hey if you ever find yourself low on cash in a supermarket looking for a late night snack head for the clear bags of cereal...theyre very light so you wont feel guilty going to sleep knowing youre not gonna burn it off unlike burgers or carne asada burritos...man when i eat that kind of stuff late at night im thinkin you might as well open my heart and shove all that fat in my arteries and sew it back up...

yeah and now back to my oatmeal...well instead of unloading a whole sugar cane field into my bowl i decided to try something my mom suggested...she uses flavored coffee creamer in her oatmeal...and ive got to say its not half bad...the creamer comes in a tiny milk container...you just pour a little and then add milk...it provides the right amount of sweetness and flavor...hey try it sometime...and if you dont like, well sue me...

after breakfast i went straight back to my room and started cleaning it up...pretty unusual i say...yeah i got this weird urge to clean my room last night...this never happens so i thought i should act on it...i try to maintain my room and everything but since the computer is here everyone has to come into my room and mess everything up...ahh well...so i bust out my box thats in my closet that holds all my school stuff...yeah i have lots of stuff still in boxes...im a pack rat...and im pretty used to having my stuff in boxes since ive moved around quite a bit but thats another story...back to the box, well this box contains all the reports ive ever done all the notes and research materials...i dont know why i have this stuff i guess i thought it would be useful in the future...and then i see my trapper keeper binder...whoa can you say memories...i think every kid had one of those things...i wonder if they still have them on the market and if those youngsters still lug those huge ass things around...anyways i knew it had some old stuff in it cause the front was all neoned out...i open the velcro flap and i notice reports and pictures i drew from the 4th and 5th grade...my writing looked horrific...damn now i know what teachers go through trying to decipher peoples hieroglyphics...well my stuff wasnt that bad its just really different from how i write now...so i was going through my box and trashing about half of it...and then i replaced the half i threw away with all the college stuff ive completed...half a box in only two years...thats a lot of stuff...yeah my rooms still a mess i think ill finish up tomorrow or something...

well during the morning while cleaning up i decided to find out my grades for the fall semester...i call up and the automated teller says i got 3 a's and 2 c's...i was so stoked to find out that i got a c in biology...i totally didnt put the time that the class demanded and i definitely wasnt motivated to take it again a second time...i needed a c in that class so it would be transferable...yes i plan on transferring to the prestigious campus of UCSD this coming fall 2001...there i will join my other cohorts and cause a ruckus...the other c i wasnt so happy about...it was in my math class...the one i failed horribly last semester...calculus sucks especially the third semester of it...i was doing really well the second time around...getting b's on all the tests...i guess i didnt fair so well on the final...oh well its all behind me now...woohoo im done with math...oh how i dreaded it...thats why im not a math or engineering major...

my day ended with a call from virginia...it was iris, one of my good friends from when i lived in virginia beach...she was calling me from her apartment at virginia tech...she says its like 20 degrees outside...weather thats foreign to those that live here in sunny san diego...anyways it was good to hear from her again...weve kept in pretty good contact since i left virginia around 7th grade...whoa its been almost 8 years since i was there...i dont know what it is but just to hear her voice and listening to her talk about the people i grew up with takes me back...lots of reminiscing...my advice to everyone out there is dont lose contact with those special people in your life...theres a reason why your path's in life crossed...
posted by ryan edu 1/10/2001

"woke up quick, at about noon just thought that i had to be in compton soon"...actually i woke up at 10 this morning...no i didn't feel like being in compton...i woke up that early because my mother wanted to go grocery shopping at the navy commisary...yeah im a navy brat..."been around the world and aayaya"...not really but lived in quite a few different places...cerritos, long island, virginia beach, corpus christi...those are the cities i have lived in but that leads to a whole other story to tell about some other time...

anyhoo yeah so me and my mom go food shopping...i really enjoy going with her because i get to choose the stuff i eat and i always suggest to try something new...too many times people are afraid to try something different and they are missing out...my philosophy is step outside of your comfort bubble and "take a walk on the wild side"...what's the worst thing that can happen...you don't enjoy the new experience and revert to the old stuff...but theres always a chance you may find something you really can get into...

well after we get back home and have lunch...my friend angelo gives me a call and says eileen is at his house so let's kick it...so i get to his house and then we're off to travel around san diego...our first stop was in poway...we hit up a local pawn shop...as i looked around most of the stuff there was electronics and guns...thats exactly how i thought it would be after all the movies ive seen...except there would be mass gold jewelry there also...i don't know, it was the first time ive been in a pawn shop...well after the pawn shop we head to the wherehouse...whenever i step into a music store im tempted to buy something but this time i had my sights set on a cd case...yes another added to the my collection, all to hold my precious cds...

afterwards we head to comp usa...im torn between buying a scanner and a digital camera...i love taking pictures and posting them all over my room...but at the sametime a digital camera is soo damn cool...ill probably invest in a scanner first so i could get the existing pics i do have on my website sometime...and then eventually work towards a digital camera...oh the money i wish i had to spend...

well since we were in the vicinity of our closest krispy kreme we decide to make a run...as usual the lines were long inside and outside...luckily one of the workers was asking if we only wanted glazed donuts which is exactly what we had in mind and we were boosted to the front of the line...hah no waiting and fresh krispy kreme donuts in hand...dammit they melt in your mouth i tell you...their assorted donuts aren't as great as the glazed...but i really can't say since i haven't had their assorted flavors fresh...i mean the life of a glazed krispy kreme donut can be viewed if you step into one of their stores...if you peer through the clear glass you see them being cooked, glazed, and then placed into a box...they're pretty much made hot 24-7...the assorted ones though come from somewhere else...maybe they just make them early in the morning and sell them the rest of the day...yeah i think they open at 5am but their drive thru is 24 hours...just talking about them gets me hungry for a donut...luckily i bought a dozen glazed to bring home...heheh...well now im off to enjoy some krispy kreme glazed donuts with a tall glass of milk because "milk does a body good!"
posted by ryan edu 1/9/2001

mondays...ahh who in the hell loves them?...no one i tell you...it means you either go to work or go back to school...luckily my monday wasn't so terrible...i woke up still aching but not as bad as the day before...mostly it was a clean up day for me...wash the clothes and pack up all the christmas decor and put it in the attic...not bad considering i was burning cds the whole day...yes im a cd pirate...i have an obsession with music...if theres something you want i probably have it or i can get my hands on it...

hopefully all my friends have recovered from one hell of a saturday and survived today...good luck with school and work...
posted by ryan edu 1/8/2001

oh saturday...my body aches and pains of saturday...every single muscle in my body...i guess that means i had a good time snowboarding...actually i really did...woke up about 5am and made my way to nellies house around 5:50am...i was the first one there besides matt...them two lovebirds were playing ssx on the ps2...a really cool snowboarding game...i guess they were preppin themselves up for later on that day...when everyone got to nellies house we headed to jack in the box to pick up some last minute breakfast and then we were on our way...

there were two of us driving...nellie in her truck and me in my car...matt and lisa were in the truck while jeremy, dan, and jerome were in my car...we kept in contact with each other the whole way with my trusty two way radios...the ride up was pretty enjoyable...lots of singing with rockapella...we arrived at a reasonable time rented our gear and headed to the slopes of big bear...

the newbies were myself, jeremy, and lisa...everyone else had gone once before or were seasoned veterans...we didnt want to start off on the bunny slopes so we walked up the end of the beginners hill and strapped in...the intial feeling was quite odd...ive never surfed skateboarded or anything similar to it...so this was definitely a first time for everything...i felt like a plastic toy soldier...you know the green ones like in toy story...anyways i went down the hill a couple times and of course falling all the way down and then thought it was time to go on top of the hill...thats where everyone said we would actually learn...so we got in line and waited for the lift...while in line you are supposed to have one foot locked onto your board and the other one free...this was another thing i had to get used to...

well now we were halfway up the beginner hill and we get off...theres two different lifts one for halfway and another for the top...after a couple runs down we decided to go to the top of the hill...this is where i began all the learning...how to fall on your ass so you wouldnt fall off the cliff, fall into a ditch, or run into a tree...hey i got the hang of it...but was real tired of falling on my behind to have my sweats soaking wet...when i finally let go off all my fear and actually stood straight on my board was when i was having all the fun...i started understanding the concept of weight forward and using my shoulders for direction...stopping properly took me a little longer to get the hang of but it doesnt hurt to run into any cute "snow bunnies" you may come across...i had only two hard spills...one i landed on my tail bone which still aches a little...and another the back of my head slammed into the ground..."ugh!" was the sound that came out of me as told by dan...

the best feeling i had the whole day was when i was flying down the slope continuously...whizzing past by people and actually controlling my board...it was total bliss...i definitely had a great first time experience and was even told by my fellow comrades that i picked up pretty quick...im totally into snowboarding and can see why some people go every weekend...i can't wait till the next time...

now onto saturday night...i get home and right away my dads on my case...it seems he and my brother rick got back from working in la...i must thank my brother for taking my place that day...anyways hes on me telling me to do this and that...im feeling tired and i want to take a shower...jeremy swings by and tells me the guys are all at jeromes house waiting...i have to finsh up typing up some stuff before i go so we decide to meet at alberto's...

we get to alberto's and everybody is eating or buying food for later tonight...we caravan to crown liquor and buy the booze and then head to mission valley...we get to motel 6 and something goes awry...a security guard comes up to jeremy's car and asks us what we were doing there in the parking lot...jeremy explains that we were looking for a room and one of us went to the front office to check prices...i know exactly what was going on in the security guy's head...he was thinking we were a bunch of delinquints in a car looking for a hotel room to cause ruckus...which was exacty what we were going to do...jerome got us the room but we all thought the best would be to abort which we did...now onto a couple more motels and finally we decided to go to jerome's pad...

we unload everything and start opening the bottles of new castle...damn i hate the taste of beer...it tastes like shit or better yet piss water...anyways i drink half a bottle and i cant stand it...all the while im eating carne asada which isnt really agreeing with me...i quit and decided to go for a shot of skyy vodka...i must say it goes down pretty smooth compared to some other stuff ive had...after the shot i chase it with a little fuzzy navel and then it hits me...damn i need to yak...so i head to the bathroom and do my business...i come out and said ive had enough...i wasnt feelin it that night maybe some other time...yeah so i was elected to watch over everyone as best i could...

without going into major detail...lets just say the night ended with one individual getting plastered, another getting pretty fucked up, lots of talking drunks and one funny drunk...i left the house at about 4am making sure the situation was under control and that everyone was going to be alright...

i wake up in about another 4 hours only to get ready for church...my body aches and i still havent showered...the feeling sucks but not as bad as a hangover...anyways after church i was hoping to get a shower and maybe catch a few more zzz's but my dad was like take down the christmas lights and decorations...dammit sleep deprived and hurting i still had to work...this lasted until the afternoon when finally i was able to clean myself and sleep for 3 hours...i wake after a good nap eat dinner burn a few cds and im back to bed...
posted by ryan edu 1/7/2001